Guatemala – Where I got my groove back

Antigua, Guatemala is a small city filled with really kind people and is a wonderful place for a ‘new to solo travel’ woman. Despite the mass of tourists that visit every year (due to it being an UNESCO Heritage Site) it never seems too crowded or harried. It is almost like the kind, laid-back nature of the Guatemalan people rubs off on all of the tourists. I know that it is not a fairy tale and there is a dark underbelly to every place but I really felt that everyone I met in Antigua, both locals and tourists were relaxed and helpful. Maybe I just got lucky but that was my experience. So Antigua will always hold a very special place in my heart – not only because of the wonderful friends that I made there and the sweet family that I was privileged to live with for 4 weeks, but also because I feel like I discovered my best self in Guatemala. In my mind, Guatemala is where I got my groove back (and I don’t even remember where or when I lost it.)

Starting my second day, right after my realization that I was both biased and also a big ol’ scaredy-cat, I made a decision. I decided to push myself every day to talk to a stranger or to say yes to a new thing. In fact, in the van on the way to Antigua I made myself talk to all 6 other passengers, as well as the driver, Nancy. I think I used to be good in social situations but sometime around year 15 of living in the same small town and mostly hanging out with children, I became kind of weird and awkward in ‘new people’ social situations. Anyways, I pushed myself that day to be more outgoing. Then every day after in Antigua, I continued to push myself to be more and more brave. I would like to tell everyone that at some point I just became naturally outgoing, brave and fearless. Sadly, it is kind of like going to the gym – sometimes it’s easy to go, sometimes you have to kick yourself in the butt to get out the door, and sometimes you have really good intentions but you don’t make it out the door (and that’s all right too) but always when you go to the gym or talk to a stranger or do the new, scary thing, you feel really, really great afterwards. Every day, I pushed myself to be open and brave and I met so many wonderful people. (I also climbed a volcano, learned to salsa a little, climbed a different volcano, shared an Airbnb with 3 new friends, explored random villages, got lost, kayaked in the most beautiful lake, and taught some amazing children but this post is about meeting new people and making friends).

First and best was my Guatemalan ‘familia’ – Renee and Yajaira and Maria. Maria was Renee’s 86 year old mother, or as I came to think of her, “Abuela”). They were kind and funny and made me feel so welcome. They housed up to 3 homestay guests at a time and were absolutely one of the best parts about my visit to Guatemala. Yajaira’s sister Nancy, my driver from Guatemala City to Antigua, was often at the house with her sweet little boy. And then there was my housemate, Dan, a fellow traveler from the Colorado. I also got to volunteer with Dan and he became an unlikely friend, an adventure buddy and a much-appreciated translator. And there was often another volunteer at the house too, although they changed from week to week.

The lot of us shared so many meals and laughs together, and sometimes I knew what we were laughing about and sometimes I had absolutely no idea! The language difference was often frustrating, sometimes humbling and a few times, absolutely hilarious. I will never forget when Cindy, one of the other homestay guests (a sweet, funny, joyful young woman from the Netherlands) asked them how gender fluid people were treated in Guatemala, as it is mostly Catholic. Well Nancy actually stood up, she seemed so concerned for Cindy, and she started to explain safe sex practices to her. Apparently the expression ‘gender fluid’ does not translate well and Nancy thought that Cindy was asking questions about and unsure of another type of fluid. Dan, Cindy and I were all confused for several moments with Nancy’s explanation but then we realized the misunderstanding. We fought so hard to keep our laughter in check as Nancy was so serious about Cindy’s question. But I laughed so much later that night and it will always be one of the funniest language mix-ups ever.

But even more than the laughter, I will remember the time Yajaira peeked in on me and I was a little sad – I was looking at the picture of my kids that I travel with and I was missing them – but she mimed a hug and then she let me cry on her shoulder for a bit. Or that every time I would come ‘home’ and say “Buenas tardes, Maria, coma esta?” she would often answer me and I would never understand her quiet and quick Spanish. But I would smile at her and say si, si and we would ‘talk’ for a while. I still have no idea what we talked about all of those times but I will never forget her sweet, sweet smile. They lived so simply, with very few “essentials” that we consider normal in North America, but they were kind and generous and despite several family tragedies, they were full of joy and laughter. Knowing and living with them only briefly shifted my views on so many things and I will always be filled with love and gratitude towards them.

I made so many other friends as well. Many of these friends I would have never met in ‘real life’ – that is one of the truly beautiful things about travel. My Spanish teacher, Aracely, taught me so much about Guatemala and their traditions. She answered all of my questions as I tried to reconcile and understand how a country can be both deeply rooted in traditional Mayan spirituality but also very Catholic at the same time. She was patient and helpful and she also taught me to laugh more – that woman had the best and biggest laugh ever! Claire from France, who was in my Spanish class, and had so many interesting views on life and politics and religions that she was completely unafraid to share. Honestly, she made this super polite Canadian very uncomfortable but she was also so refreshing and admirable in her candidness. Then there was sweet and wonderful Wyatt, the young doctor from San Francisco, who was there to learn Spanish for 6 weeks to better help the underserved Latin community at the hospital that he worked at. He was gentle, kind and thoughtful with his word. And surprisingly, when it was just the 2 of us, he was also hilarious. We had a couple of adventures together, including hikes, kayaking and volcano pizza. I don’t know if I will ever see him again but I will never forget him or our honest and vulnerable kayak talk – isn’t it weird how sometimes you can be so incredibly honest with someone that you may never see again!?! There were so many others. Troy from Texas, who taught me that some stereotypes are true but also that people are not black and white and it is kinder to be curious than to be judgmental. Sighre from Australia, who was one of the angels from my Acatenango hike. Gail from Washington, a fellow nomad whom I shared a few meals with, as well as discussions about gender inequality and maybe the most unusual local experience in Santa Cruz. And last but not least, George, a wonderful man from Pennsylvania that I am happy to say has become a dear friend. George is someone who gives me hope that no matter your age, you can discover new things about the world, you can learn to parent differently, you can always help others and continue to grow as a person.

One more person I met in Antigua was Guatemalan Pam 😉 I wouldn’t have met any of these other people if I hadn’t discovered Guatemalan Pam first. She was braver than Canadian Pam and definitely more outgoing. ‘Guatemalan Pam’ actually organized a get together with several strangers on her third day in a new city and then she had a great time. She tried out her terrible Spanish at every coffee shop and restaurant. She made friends with a random book store owner and the gruff boxer who was also my favorite pit-bull owner. And one day, at her favorite coffee shop (it’s called The Rainbow Cafe and if you are in Antigua, please go and order their cappuccino and the vegetarian sandwich special and you will not be disappointed), but one day while having said coffee and sandwich, I smiled at a random older woman (wearing a truly amazing and colorful bucket hat) who was walking by. Well she smiled back, stopped to talk to me and it turns out she was part of an expat group that met for lunch every Thursday. She asked me to join them but it was my last week there so I said I would come over and say hi after I was done eating. She walked over to her group and said very loudly “I got a young one coming over – she looks fun so everyone be nice and don’t complain.” What an absolute delight to be called ‘a young one’ – of course, I went over and had a visit and swapped some stories (and since the average age was about 70, I did in fact feel like a young one). That lady and that short visit with more random strangers are another memory I will cherish for a long time, and I would have neither memory if I hadn’t pushed myself to smile and talk to strangers every day. (Also I will not refer to myself in the third person again – it felt right when I wrote the draft but generally speaking it seems a bit obnoxious.)

As to the dark underbelly I mentioned before, Antigua is such a popular destination for long-term tourists, slow travelers and expats that most of the people who ‘live’ in Antigua are not actually Guatemalan. Most of the homes in the center of Antigua have been turned into hostels, boutique hotels and AirBnBs. This means sadly, that almost everyone who works in Antigua has to travel from neighboring towns. And public transportation is often unreliable and difficult. It is something that I often think about when I travel – what type of negative impact my travelling may have on the towns and cities that I am visiting. I try now to be conscious of where I stay and to recognize who benefits from my accommodations. And as much as I can, I really try to support local when eating out and shopping. That is a good lesson all of the time. And also I always try to be aware of, and appreciate, that travel itself is a wonderful privilege.

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