The Challenges of Living Abroad

Someone recently asked me if I missed Hong Kong. Actually they asked me if I liked teaching there, what’s it like living abroad, if Hong Kong was a good place for a solo traveller and if I missed it. Four completely different and separate questions with different and complicated answers. So I decided to write 5 little(ish) blogs to address each question. The short answers are no, challenging but in a good way, yes and that’s very complicated. 

Moving to Hong Kong

When I decided to move to Hong Kong for a year, I knew there were going to be a lot of challenges. I had never been to Asia nor did I know a single person in Hong Kong. But I was absolutely certain that my 2 years of slow travel had prepared me for any difficulties I would face. And I was truly excited about another new experience. I was somewhere between delightfully optimistic and ridiculously naive.

However, it was challenging in a lot of ways I did not expect. I definitely cried way more than I thought I would. Would I move to a different country again? Absolutely. Would I assume that it would be easy since I have done it before? Absolutely not. Would I encourage others to move abroad, even for only 6 months? Totally. Would I strongly advise anyone of letting go of any and all expectations. YES. 

Living Expectations versus Reality

My optimistic bubble didn’t burst but it definitely developed a slow but steady leak within 30 minutes of moving into my new ‘home.’ I had signed up for ‘teacher housing’ which was going to be both affordable and fun. Or so I thought. I was ready to embrace roommates and the shared camaraderie of teaching and living in a new city. I never had the university dorm experience and this was going to be my version of that. Unfortunately, the experience was less than I had hoped. 

The apartment was old and dirty, with mold in the shower. The windows didn’t open and there was a rotten smell I never could identify. I am comfortable living in very small spaces with very few amenities but this was somewhere between disgusting and toxic. Added to that, my roommates clearly were not excited about a new person. There was no room anywhere in the fridge, pantry or bathroom for anyone else’s belongings. They had both been living and teaching in HK for a few years and while they were not unkind, they were not friendly. It was clear there would be no shared camaraderie. 

So after 2 long weeks, I moved to a new place. Thankfully another new teacher had shared a company that rented small, furnished flats. And by “flats,” I mean a one room apartment with a ‘kitchen.’ And by furnished, I mean a bed, a desk that was also my table and a chair. Honestly, my second place was big (16 square meters) compared to my third place (12 square meters) but it was also almost half my paycheck. Did I mention Hong Kong is incredibly expensive? 

I loved my second place though. It was so clean compared to the teacher housing. Plus I had a mini fridge to myself and windows that opened! However, it was too expensive and in a busy tourist area. So I moved again in mid November. Yes, I moved 3 times within the first 3 months of living in Hong Kong. It was unexpected and a little stressful but it did give me the opportunity to ‘get to know’ 3 different districts. 

Also, and I cannot stress this enough, it gave me the joyful experience of moving 2 times using a combination of the bus and Uber all by myself. I joke because that absolutely sucked but I now use it as a reference to measure bad days. Most bad days are good compared to those 2 days of moving by myself in Hong Kong. However I loved my little flat in Sai Ying Pun. It was more affordable, in a great neighborhood and I came to appreciate ‘tiny living.’

Community Expectations versus Reality

The other challenge I faced was my expectation that I would have some ‘instant, built-in’ friends through a teaching community. The reality was that there were only 3-4 teachers at each center and teachers never had the same day off. I was lucky to become good friends with one of the teachers at my center but sadly, he left in January. I also made a great friend that I had met during our training, but she lived and taught on an entirely different island than me. We shared several great afternoons hiking and talking but we were only able to meet up once every 2 months. And I got along really well with the last teacher to join our center but we only had 2 months working together, and again not the same days off. 

So 2 of my biggest challenges were ones that I did not expect. Even though I loved my tiny flat in Sai Ying Pun, one of the reasons I had moved to Hong Kong was to save money. And saving was more challenging to do while living on my own. Another reason I took the leap was the idea that I would make a lot of friends and have a ‘teacher community,’ which is hard to cultivate as a nomad. I do feel lucky to have met and made the friends that I did. But overall, it was a much lonelier experience than I was expecting. 

“Normal” living abroad challenges

These are 5 challenges that I did expect and common to most who take the leap and move abroad.

1. Language

This can be very challenging depending on where you move. Having said that, it is very easy to live, shop and explore Hong Kong as most people speak some English. And there are definitely neighborhoods where everything is available in English and Cantonese. But it is something to consider and not speaking the language definitely hinders some aspects of everyday life.

2. Grocery Shopping

This might seem like a silly challenge and depending on the size of the city you find yourself, will affect how big of a challenge. Bigger cities will often have ‘international grocery stores’ but they will be very expensive. The local grocery shops are often quite challenging to navigate, especially after a long day – from food labels that you don’t understand to finding substitutes for your favorite comfort food. I may have cried once, after a particularly long Saturday teaching and then stopping at 3 different grocery stores, because I could never find a can of tomato soup in all of Hong Kong. I also spent all year mourning the unexpected loss of cottage cheese in my life. 

3. Life Administration

From securing visas to setting up bank accounts to navigating taxes, everything is both unfamiliar and more challenging. First, moving in general is complicated with a lot of bureaucratic tasks. Second, this is when I most noticed the language barrier as most government institutions were less ‘English friendly.’ And third, you don’t realize how much life admin stuff you have set up and automated until you are in another country. I found everything more difficult to manage across borders, especially dealing with banks and phone services.

I would add that Hong Kong specifically is a bizarre mix of modern efficiency and outdated bureaucracy. So many aspects of life are digitized, easy and efficient – you can even do virtual doctor appointments. And at the same time, I had to go in person three times to sort out my taxes and the final visit involved bringing actual cash to pay my taxes. 

4. Cultural Differences

I think this might be one of the most common challenges regardless of where you move. Most of us don’t realize, until we start travelling more or we move abroad, how many things are NOT societal norms in other countries. I was quite surprised because I did not expect this to be a challenge for me. I am a very curious person and during my previous 2 years as a nomad, I loved discovering and learning about cultural differences.

However, it was quite different (and unpleasant if I’m being honest) to navigate cultural differences in a workplace. Learning about appropriate attire or discovering escalator etiquette in a new country is quite different than trying to understand workplace behaviors. For example, realizing that what I consider lying is actually a means of avoiding conflict, which is considered a form of respect. Cultural differences at work were extremely challenging for me and I did a poor job navigating them.

5. Homesickness

I think this is both the most expected challenge but also the most difficult to deal with. Because you can’t anticipate when it will hit or how deep. Every day, you are dealing with working and trying to figure out public transport. Then you are trying to make friends or find someplace to buy cottage cheese and then wham!! You are drowning in homesickness. For me, walking and exploring helped whenever the loneliness became overwhelming.

At the end of the day (or rather the end of the year) some of the challenges were both expected and manageable. Some I found easier to deal with because of my previous experiences living as a nomad. However, a few challenges were both completely unexpected and much harder to overcome. I don’t know how many times I said to myself, “okay this is unexpected and it sucks but what can I learn?” And there were some days, when I just wanted to cry, “no more lessons please.”

I did say at the start that I would absolutely move to another country again. And you may wonder why as there are obviously a lot of challenges. But there are also so many wonderful things about moving abroad. So many beautiful memories and little prizes and big victories. And so there is a part two to this blog – The Rewards of Living Abroad. And if I moved abroad again, I would still be optimistic but hopefully less naive. 

I would love to hear from some readers what is the most surprising challenge? Or what do you think would be the most difficult challenge for you? 

Here is a link to my first blog about life in Hong Kong. Reading it again, I was definitely optimistic at the beginning! I am so proud and grateful for the year, even if I lost some of the shine.

Life in Hong Kong so far