Vietnam – lessons in gratitude

Oh, Vietnam was special. I visited back in April and it gifted me with so many lessons. Lessons in gratitude plus a deep appreciation for the people and the beautiful northern countryside. I was only there for 5 days – not enough time at all – but so memorable. I love a good trek, beautiful skies and a few good lessons whenever I travel. Northern Vietnam definitely delivered all 3. There have been many places in my travels that I have loved and appreciated. However, there are so many extraordinary places that I haven’t visited, it is rare for me to think “I really want to go back.” Vietnam is someplace that I want to visit again and hopefully learn a few more lessons in gratitude.

VIP bus to Sapa

I arrived at the Hanoi airport Saturday morning and immediately felt overwhelmed. The Hanoi airport is quite crowded and confusing. Thankfully, I had planned ahead and booked a bus to Sapa Valley. The bus included a transfer from the airport to the bus station which I dearly appreciated as the taxi drivers are quite ‘enthusiastic.’ If you are travelling to Vietnam, I definitely recommend the VIP buses as a safe, budget-friendly and beautiful way to move around the country. The bus from Hanoi to Sapa valley took about 6 hours and the berths let you lie down while you enjoy the green rolling hills and crowded little villages.

I arrived in Sapa late afternoon and it was a lot! But I immediately remembered the wonderful feeling of being somewhere new and overwhelming but feeling excited about the possibilities… and just a little scared. That’s one of my favorite feelings – that mix of scared and excited. I decided to walk to my hotel which took a ridiculously long time as the Sapa streets are a little confusing.

When I am in a new place, I love walking as much as I can – it’s the best way to explore and I always discover a temple or coffee shop as I am getting lost and unlost. I finally made it to my homestay which was actually a locally owned little hotel. I’ll post more about my lovely accommodations in another Vietnam post.

My first big lesson happened on my second day in Sapa. I learned, or rather, I remembered to accept disappointment with a sense of gratitude. Actually I think one should try to even embrace disappointments if possible. This lesson in gratitude is one I have learned before and honestly, one I will probably need to learn again. But it is worth sharing.

Fansipan

As soon as I decided to visit Sapa Valley, I knew that I wanted to visit Fansipan, the highest summit in Indochina and a ‘must see.’ Truthfully, I don’t always go and see the ‘must sees’ – they are often not budget friendly. But I love a good viewpoint and despite the cable car cost, I thought it would be worth it.

To get to the summit, you first take a funicular train to Sun Plaza and then the famous Sun World Fansipan Mountain Cable Car. It is the longest 3 rope cable car system in the world and also covers the greatest elevation difference between the terminals. At the top of the cable car, you can take another funicular or you can climb 600 stone steps to the summit. (Actually, you can hike the entire distance to the summit but I only had 3 days.) Anyway, I did the 600 stone steps with my own 2 feet. The view from the summit was supposed to be spectacular and worth the climb.

The ‘train’ was nice – crowded and more like a tram but cute. The village at first seemed like a ‘tourist trap’ but then I talked to a few of the women and ended up loving my little village visit. It is both a made-for-tourists ‘village’…. and they are ‘real’ local people trying to sell their traditional crafts. They also educate people about local life and the history of all the individual tribes. There are 54 recognized ethnic groups, or tribes in Vietnam, all with distinct languages and diverse traditions. I think it is a rather common misconception – it was one of mine – that many countries in SE Asia are homogeneous within certain regions or each country. But I have learned that this is not true and spent an hour trying to learn just a little about some of the specific tribes in the Sapa Valley region.

After wandering the village, I found the famous cable car station. And off I went! About half way through the cable car portion of the journey, we entered a dense cloud. A really, really dense cloud. Being in a dense cloud is always a cool experience. Less cool was the fact that I spent the next 3 hours in the dense cloud. In fact, that big ol’ dense cloud never lifted and no spectacular views were experienced that day! Not one. What I did experience still gave me a deep sense of gratitude. I had the unusual experience of wandering around in a cold, wet cloud for a couple of hours, knowing I had reached the summit of Fansipan, 3143 meters above sea level …in Vietnam!

Vietnam is one of those places that if you had asked me about 5 years ago – well, there is no way I would have imagined myself wandering around Vietnam – solo. My life is really very cool. I was also deeply grateful for the general feeling of fun and absurdity that most of the 30 or so other tourists seemed to feel. I shared several little smiles and chuckles with random strangers who also did not check the weather report. It felt like we were all just ‘happy to be there.’

Now I do want to recognize that not all disappointments are the same. But there is a truth and a lesson about disappointments experienced when travelling. You are travelling – you have the privilege, both financially and in other ways, to be someplace unusual or different. And even if it is a ‘trip of a lifetime’ or you have saved for a long time, whatever is causing the disappointment is happening. Being overly upset, getting into a funk, having a tantrum – it is unlikely any of those will fix the disappointing situation. And it is likely that all of those will stop you from enjoying the rest of your day or your trip. So enjoy the disappointment or at the very least appreciate where or why you are experiencing the disappointment.

Now this is much deeper than my cold, wet Fansipan day but I recently heard someone much wiser than me say ‘if I am to be grateful for my life, then I must be grateful for that which I wish had not happened.’ The past few years, especially the last few months, I have experienced some disappointments. In fact, if I am being honest, I’ve experienced a lot of messy, complicated grief. It has been a struggle to process. And for a while I was trying to be grateful ‘for that which I wish had not happened.’ But it just wasn’t happening. I was not grateful. Then one random day, I was in Vietnam in the middle of a dense cloud on the summit of Mount Fansipan, and I just went ‘oh, okay.’ And I felt grateful for it all. Even that which I wish had not happened.

Thanks Vietnam for the lessons in gratitude. I’d love to hear from others who might have been disappointed when travelling and how they handled it. Do you think you can or should feel gratitude even when life is disappointing? What has been your worst travel disappointment? Also, to be clear, this is definitely not even top 5 of the most unfortunate travel experiences that I have had the past 3 years – just the most recent and the most illuminating. Thanks for reading. Please feel free to share!

https://vietnam.travel/things-to-do/why-fansipan-must-do-sapa

https://www.saovietbus.com